Check out the fancy new blog design! A HUGE thank you goes out to Jodie Gerling, for coming to my rescue and sprucing things up for me! You rock my face right off, woman!
Have I mentioned that I've been getting my head shrunk? Ain't no shame in my game. Since February 2015, while Piper was still alive, I've been going to a therapist. I love to talk...I love to talk about myself...I love therapy.
The result: my overly egotistic self now thinks I'm a psychologist. (Duh!)
In all seriousness though, this has really helped me dig into the how and why I want to grieve, give back, and tap into coping skills while incorporating my faith in this recovery process.
Something I've been mulling over for a while now, is me getting tinges of anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I've analyzed, then OVERanalyzed why; and have come to this conclusion: (I'm billing you for this session later.) I get SO excited to help, to make a difference, to give back, to have Piper be remembered...that I regress into the thoughts that everything I can do is too small. I look at this big ole' world and have the humbling realization that I am just a mere drop in the bucket. Just a small tiny blanket drive lady, trying to make a difference, but just a drop in the bucket that is children's hospital philanthropy.
Blankets, hospital committees, NICU meals, bereavement bath products...does it make a difference? Have you ever had thoughts like this? "Am I even making a difference?"
This is when I have to stop. Slow my roll, and tell myself, "Hell YES it does!"
Now, all my psychotherapy comes in handy when I am so excited to share with you my thoughts on giving back...
Do NOT let being, "just" a drop in the bucket, extinguish your flame! Your drop means something to someone. Your light has a purpose. Hold that light out and shine the way, baby!
Matt and I have had discussions recently about our faith in God as youngsters. We were raised as Christians, and were pretty darn boring teens. No crazy fall to rise from, no huge mistakes, prude - boring teens. As a Christian, and a quiet one at that, this led me to feel like I had no real profound testimony to share with others. I always had God's light within my heart, and carried it with me through this life.
What Piper has done, is allow me to take my light, extend my arms, and hold it out for all to see. Piper's life has given us a reason to shine that light for others, regardless of how big or small the audience. My drop in the bucket is awesome, my flame will be bright, and I will shine it for you, Pipes!
While compiling my words for this post, a song from childhood came to mind that I'd love for you to hear. It's perfect for this topic. (The YouTube video might be corny, but the words touch my heart.) I urge you to give it a listen, and think about how you use your light.