Monday, June 11, 2018

Reflections from Daddy

Monday. Blah.
It's not just any Monday, though. As much as Matt and I don't want to over emphasize this day, our minds and bodies remember the trauma of this day.
This day - 3 years ago - Piper Grace left us for heaven.

There isn't a fancy memorial, no sweet balloon release, no gravesite to visit...but we choose to be still today, and acknowledge the pain with reverence. We quietly give this day some space.

Motherhood calls and gets me out of bed most days that I feel down about Pipes; and today was no exception. I'd decided to stay busy, guest blog for a KC mom group, and hang with Tallan Hope. (Matty is traveling - and that made me extra bummed.)

Running errands, with the car stopped, I open an email to the sweetest words from world's sweetest man. Matthew Jarvis isn't the blogging type. He is my silent supporter, who shares in my grief in his own quiet way most times. Today - he wrote. He shared his thoughts on our journey with Piper and after her death. Quiet, Dr. Jarvis...spilled his guts.

Me being the oversharing A-hole of the family.... of course I want you to read his words. His heart.
So here it is. Grief and loss - 3 years later - from the heart of Piper's Daddy:

"Hey babe,

I know today is definitely a day where few parents or siblings can even begin to imagine the emotion we feel as we think back to what experiences we had with Piper and Children’s Mercy. To imagine it’s been 3 years is crazy but I know it feels like it was literally yesterday. 

When I start to remember those 10 months I instantly smell the smells (shampoo), remember the smiles, and instantly are proud of the way we took on that unimaginable life experience. To this day there is not a day that goes by where I don’t stop for a moment and remember something about her or the experiences we had or the worries we went through. In those moments, I realize the blessing it was and how much stronger and focused Piper made us.  To hear Tallan discuss Piper and be confident when discussing the loss of a sibling at her age I know that because of Piper, Tallan will be able to handle anything life throws her way. For that I ‘am thankful! From our perspective, we worry about losing those memories and diminishing the impact Piper had. 

I think we don’t always see the impact she has made at his woven itself into the very fabric of what we do every day. For you, reviewing the impact Grace Blankets has had (the stats yesterday were mind blowing) and to even think how many individual lives have been touched by what you do every day is amazing. We may never know all the stories but we do know that it’s working and you’ve created an organization that impacts families in the worst of times. The way you view any one in need and whole heartedly take initiative to help not waiting for someone’s request but by taking action because you’ve experienced that and how people may not request what they truly need. For me, I think Piper has helped me to live life without fear, without anxiety, and to realize that every day no matter how small we have the opportunity to impact someone. To truly cherish what matters most in life because as we both know tomorrow is not promised we only have today.

I’m not writing these notes because today is a day of sadness. I’m writing you to say how much I love you and how proud I’am of what you’ve done as my best friend, an amazing mom to two amazing daughters, and what you do every day for our family! I wouldn’t have made it without you babe and wanted you to know that I see what you do every day and truly am in awe!!

I love you!