A Quick Note for Tal...

I'm up at 4am, my mind too full of thoughts. In my sleepless state, one question keeps running over and over in my head. Will you remember this?

Are you too little? Will you remember, Tallan?

Will you remember our silly drives to the hospital, and you knowing when we were getting close?
Will you remember calling her Pipes, and giving her every toy in the basket?
Will you remember our chats, our lists of things we planned to do with your sister?

Will you remember Mom & Dad's fear? Our sadness? Our hope? Our joy?
Will you remember holding your sister and not having a care in the world about her tubes?
Will you remember, Tal?

Will you remember crying with me when I was sad about Pipes?
Will you remember giving me a reason to get out of bed?
Will you remember making me a better mom? A mom who taught her child to pray, about Jesus, about Heaven?

The last year of our lives has been full of tears, and love and heartache...and Tallan, I hope and pray you remember. Remember how our family stuck together. How you were my shining light to cling to...my joy...my heart.

I vow to remind you. I will remind you, not just of your sweet sister, Piper; but I will remind you of how amazing you were this year. I vow to always remind you of the miracle that you are to me, my healing heart, my soul. I'll always remind you, babe.

You woke up tonight (well, morning) at 3:45am upset, and told me you missed Pipey. We sat and snuggled and prayed to Jesus and Piper in your heart. I had tears rolling down my face, some from grief, but most from overwhelming pride and love for the sweet smart person that you are. You make me a better me. I love you, Tallan Hope, and I will do my best to always help you remember.

Love,
Mom