Oh, Sweet Pipes.
June 11, 2015...the day you left, our hearts shattered.
9 years later, my heart swells with memories, and with a lump in my throat, I reflect on the ways YOU changed us that day. That 10 months you were here. We are not the same, and we never will be.
Since the day you left, I have learned so much about myself, our family, our people.
You should see your momma's resilience. I am proud of the way I have grieved you. I feel everything, every emotion, HARD. I have learned I can sob from the depths of my bones, cry out as loud as I want, body crumbling with trauma and loss...and survive. I have felt more sadness, more grief, more happiness, joy, relief, pride that I have ever thought possible. My heart and my mind and my body is capable of FEELING STRONGLY and surviving; and I am so proud you taught me this. You should see Mom.
You should see Dad's brilliance.He has shouldered loss and grief with grace and love for his family. The day you left, he chose a quiet strength to carry into the world. He is smart and kind and chooses bravery each day because of the fire he's walked through with you. He is not bitter at the burns left on his heart; but so damn brave. Pipes, you taught Dad that each day's challenges are small and accomplishable...that he shall not be shaken by the stressors of this world, but tread through them with a thankful heart. You should see Dad.
You should see your sister's confidence.Tallan is strong and confident. She knows she is capable of hurdling any obstacle, since the day you left.She cares for others as she yearns to care for you. She is the world's sister, and the biggest advocate for your cause and your legacy. She, too, is brave and kind. She speaks of you often and will carry your name throughout her future. She will do HUGE things in your honor, babe. You should see Tal.
Oh Sweet Pipes.You should see your people. The day you left changed their hearts too. New grad beginner nurses are now practitioners. They have husbands and babies of their own; and they still speak your name. They learn in your honor. They give in your memory. There are shirts with hearts, babies with blankets, nurses with scholarships and families given care because of YOU. You should see your people, Pipes.
Time does not heal all wounds.Your loss is still felt every year, every time we give, every time we speak about you. Since the day you left, time has graciously allowed us to learn about ourselves. Our hearts are capable of BIG LOVE even after brokenness. Our grief does not harden these hearts, but opens them for others. I will cry, I will smile, I will remember, I will cherish with a mended heart - The Day You Left.
